Grow Beautiful Ornamental Trees

Using the Propagation Technique Known as Budding to Grow Beautiful Ornamental Trees

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Flowering Dogwood trees can be easily grown from seed. However 99.9999% of the seedlings that sprout will be Cornus Florida, which is White Flowering Dogwood. It doesn’t matter if you collect the seeds from a White Dogwood or a Pink Dogwood, the seedlings are likely to be white.

The only predictable way to grow a Pink Dogwood, Red Dogwood, or one of the beautiful Dogwoods with variegated leaves, is to bud or graft the desired variety onto a White Dogwood seedling. That’s why the botanical name for Pink Dogwood is Cornus Florida Rubra. Cornus means Dogwood, Florida indicates White, Rubra indicates Red or Pink. Cornus Florida Rubra indicates Pink Dogwood grown on White Dogwood rootstock.

Between budding and grafting, budding is the most common technique used in the nursery industry. Grafting is usually done in the late winter months when the plants are dormant. When you graft a plant you remove a small branch (4 to 6 inches) from the desired variety, trim the end of the branch to expose the tissue under the bark and then trim a taper on the end. You then trim the seedling in such a way to match and receive the branch you are grafting on to it. Timing, temperature, and humidity are all critical to the success of the procedure, which is usually done in a greenhouse.

Budding is much easier, and does not have to be done in a controlled environment. Most budding is done later in the summer when the bark on the seedling slips easily. That means that when a cut is made in the bark of the seedling it can be easily pulled away from the tissue layer under the bark. This tissue is known as the cambium layer. Here in the north Crabapples and other fruits are usually ready to bud around mid to late July, while Dogwoods are not ready until late August.

Unlike grafting where you use a small branch to attach to the seedling, when you bud you insert a single bud under the bark. Budding is usually done down low on the seedling, very close to the soil. You can bud up higher, but any new growth that appears below that bud must be removed because it will be identical to the rootstock and not the desired variety.

The budding process is quite simple. Just clip a branch from the tree of the desired variety, this is known as a bud stick because it has many buds that can be used for budding. The buds can be found at the base of each leaf. Look closely where the leaf emerges from the branch and you will see a very small bud. In the fall when the tree goes dormant the leaf will fall off, and bud will remain. The following spring the bud will grow into a new branch.

When you slip that bud under the bark of a compatible seedling, it will grow the following spring just as if it were still on the parent plant, with all of the qualities of the desired variety. Almost all fruit bearing and ornamental trees are grown this way.

Just make a "T" shaped cut in the bark of the seedling. A horizontal cut about ¼" long, with a vertical downward cut about ½" long. The two cuts should intersect at the top of the "T". Don’t cut into the cambium tissue, just slice the bark and open it up slightly with your knife or razor blade. Now you are ready to remove the bud from the bud stick.

First clip off and discard the leaf from the bud that you are about to remove. When you remove the leaf, leave the stem attached to the bud stick, just remove the leaf itself. The stem makes a nice little handle to hold on to. To remove the bud from the bud stick just cut into the bark and under the bud, it should pop off easily. Again, don’t cut into the cambium tissue, but make sure you are under the bark so you don’t damage the bud. Along with the bud you will have a small piece of bark shaped like a tiny banana peel, and the stem from the leaf.

Visit this page for photos of this complete process: www.freeplants.com/budding_fruit_trees_and_ornamental_plants.htm

Holding the bud by its handle (the stem) slide it into the "T" shaped cut you made on the seedling. Make sure you put it in right side up. The stem and the leaf should protrude through the slit, and the stem should be pointing toward the sky at an angle. Push the bud all the way down into the slit by catching the bark, (not the bud) with the tip of your knife.

Now cut a rubber band so that it is no longer a loop and wrap it around the seedling to close the opening so dirt, water, air, and insects can’t get in. Make a wrap below the bud, and a few wraps above the bud. Use a rubber band approx. ¼" wide, and be careful not to wrap too close to the bud, nor too tight.

You don’t want to strangle the seedling, it needs to be healthy and happy so the new bud will bond to the cambium layer. Leave the rubber band on until early spring, at which time you should remove it, and clip off the top of the seedling just above the bud. As the plant comes out of dormancy the bud will begin to grow into a new branch just as if it is still attached to the parent plant, except that now it is going to grow upright and form the stem of a tree.

When this new growth reaches a height of 3 to 4 feet, clip the tip off, this will force it to start putting on lateral branches. Once these lateral branches are 18" long or so, you can remove all the growth from the stem below where the lateral branches start. Now the plant should look like a beautiful little tree. And that makes you the proud parent!

With all of that said, today it is possible to grow Pink Dogwoods by rooting cuttings under intermittent mist, however, it is tricky, and my few attempts have failed. ??? Most nurseryman still bud them.

Substitute For Popular Bonsai Species

Bonsai culture offers the greatest and most beautiful tree species on this planet. Since bonsai originate from asia, most likely from China and Japan, the most popular tree’s are originating from this region.

Doing bonsai elsewhere in the world can be tricky. If your climate doesn’t match the climate in Japan, you may not be able to grow successfully some of the most popular species. Your temperature range could be too cold in winter or too hot in summer. The best examples are the tropical species that cannot be grown year long in the northern climate unless you have the proper setup indoor or the winter could be too cold for hardy species.

Rest assure, nothing is lost. Many tree species originating from certain region or growing locally can be great substitute for a bonsai candidate. The most praised maple is without a doubt the trident maple. (Acer buergerianum) This specie is cold hardy to USDA zone 5 which is around minus 27 celsius. In Canada, the winters are getting harsher temperature. A great substitute would be the Amur maple (Acer Ginnala) which is cold hardy to USDA zone 2, minus 45 celsius. This species is a great replacement since it is very cold hardy, possesses small trilobed leaves and is a fast grower.

Other species liked from bonsai enthusiast are the Japanese pines. But, once again, cold can be a disadvantage. To the rescue comes the mugho pine. This pine will tolerate some very cold temperature plus it is a very tough plant tolerating many bonsai mistake. The mugho pine needles can be reduced much like the Japanese counterpart plus it displays a textured bark.

Another popular specie is the Chinese elm (ulmus parvifolia) but once again, cold is hard on this specie. For a replacement, the less known Siberian elm (ulmus pumila) can be as beautiful as the chinese one. Much like the Chinese elm, the Siberian elm as twiggy branching, grows fast and leaves are reducing well with proper technique.

Some others tree species are the American or tamarack larch (Larix Laricina) for an evergreen, the sargeant crabapple (malus sargentii) for a flowering and fruit producing tree or the European birch (betula pendula) for a broadleaf tree. These all displays beautiful characteristics. For instance, the American larch is the only evergreen to loose it’s needles when fall show itself, the needles will turn from green to yellow for a few weeks before shedding. The sargeant crabapple will give you some nice white to pink flowers in spring and produce red fruit in autumn. The European birch as a nice white paperish bark that peel itself easily. Plus all these are moderate to fast growing tree that would yield a nice bonsai in a few years.

Simplicity With Your Home Wall Decor

I can still picture my roommate as she lay stretched out on the floor, rummaging through a pile of Martha Stewart magazines. It was our mutual friend’s birthday and we preferred to deliver our own personalized birthday gifts. My roommate sat on the floor, cutting out various chunks of pages from the magazines. After observing her assorted scraps, she mixed and matched the paper in what formed a fitting and creative design. She neatly wrapped the gift in her personalized wrapping paper.

In a hurry, I rushed to the nearest gift shop and purchased some pink and yellow wrapping, and then splurged on the additional decorations, including ribbons, a matching birthday card and a multi-colored bow to top it off.

In comparing the two gift appearances, we had very distinct tastes. My roommate’s presentation was well-thought of, personalized and simple. My gift looked more like a store display flaunting the loudest and most colorful wrapping offered. I realized then that I had executed decoration overkill on my gift wrap appearance in comparison to that of my roommate’s.

Simplicity Stands Out

I learned the hard way that simplicity is distinct and better. My roommate’s present was different, and it was clear that our mutual friend enjoyed her gift more than the others which were given that day. The same principle applies to your home wall décor. As you decorate, be sure to avoid what I like to call ‘the plague of generics.’ The following interior decorating ideas will help you keep simplicity in mind.

Home wall decor

Wall Decor is anything that you would display on the walls within your own home. Wall decor can range from traditional paintings, to engravings and woodcuts or to more shapely objects such as small indoor water fountains. Also popular, are the variable designs encased in glass and framed for display. Pressed flowers presented in this manner are especially popular, as the variation of color and design is flexible and assists in creating a relaxed and inviting atmosphere.

Frames

Frames of course, are in general simple, but they provide the aura of a picture, and thus can change the entire look of your home. Choose frames which provide the sense of completion for a picture. If you are distracted by a frame, choose another one. A frame is the aura of a picture, not the art.

Indoor Gardening

The products of nature are naturally simple, and therefore some of the most popular forms of wall décor. Indoor gardening also creates the healthy, robust atmosphere that so many families crave. Displaying some of natures’ beautiful outside creations to the home will bring a picturesque view along the walls of your home.

The Japanese Art of Bonsai Trees

Bonsai is Japanese for 'tray gardening' . Bonsai trees are miniature trees; they keep their small shape and size because of being grown in a small pot or tray and through very careful pruning. The art of pruning a bonsai tree can take a very short time to learn but many people can go an entire lifetime without actually mastering the art.

History of Bonsai

Bonsai trees have been documented to exist up to 4,000 years ago everywhere from parts of Asia to Africa. The trees were originally grown in China, but then caravans started to export the trees elsewhere such as Egypt where healers would use them to produce medicines. Some were even buried in tombs with royalty.

The original art of bonsai is thought to have started in China, where it was referred to as 'penzai' before being adapted by the Japanese. Only royalty and nobility first enjoyed bonsai trees, but then in the Edo period the art form was opened up to people of all social classes.

The Art of Bonsai

Pruning bonsai trees is very difficult and takes many years of practice to perfect. Not only does a gardener have to grow the tree properly but they must also know how to prune the branches and roots to keep the bonsai trees small and healthy. This care is part of the philosophy behind bonsai trees in that they bring together three forces: Truth, essence and beauty, or, in Japanese, 'shin-zen-bi'.

When pruning bonsai trees, the Japanese ideal is to prune them in a way that does not show any kind of intervention from outside forces. The tree must always look as though it grew completely naturally with no help. On the other hand, Chinese pruning tends to be much more artistic, as gardeners grow their trees and cut them into intricate shapes and designs such as into Chinese characters or even images of animals and dragons.

Common Kinds of Bonsai

Bonsai trees come in many different forms and varieties. The formal upright tree is one of the most common, distinguished by its balanced branches and a trunk that tapers. The sister variety is one which bends and curves, leading to more variety in how it can be displayed as pleasing to the eye.

These trees can be found all over now, with growers in every corner of the globe and collections and gardens to visit in many countries including Australia, Belgium, Montréal, Canada, China, Germany and many more places in the United States and Asia. If you are interested in learning the fine art of bonsai trees, visit one of these gardens and see the kind of large-scale beauty that can come from such a small creation.

Bonsai Tree Care

Today, bonsai care has become a very popular hobby for some who maintain the spiritual connection with nature. If that sounds like you, here are there are five basic techniques in providing bonsai care.

Water and Bonsai

Bonsai trees are planted in limited amounts of unique bonsai soil. This combination necessitates that bonsai care include a frequency in the number of times watered. There are two methods that can be used to determine the dampness of the soil; one method uses a water meter that will indicate the dampness of the soil and will help to determine whether water needs to be added.

Or, by simply inserting your finger into the soil, up to the first joint, you can feel if the soil is moist or dry. If the soil is dry, add enough water to cause the water to escape from the drainage hole of the pot. Bonsai care also requires an increase in watering during the summer months and less watering during the winter months. It is also important to remember to keep the roots of the tree dry.

Soil Nutrients and Fertilizing

Bonsai care includes the nurturing of the soil in the spring and fall season. This nurturing should include the introduction of nitrogen, potash, and phosphoric acid into the soil. The health of your indoor bonsai tree is also dependent upon fertilization. Bonsai care should include scheduled fertilization twice a month during the spring months. Additionally, fertilization should happen once a month in later fall and through winter.

Sunlight and Bonsai

Depending on the needs of your specific tree, bonsai care requires that the tree receive some direct sunlight. If this is not possible your choice of tree should be based on the limited availability of light, or, alternatively, the bonsai tree can be placed outdoors to receive its daily dose of Vitamin D. One cautionary note regarding sunlight: limit exposure if your tree has been recently placed into new soil or has been trimmed substantially.

Decorate Your House

How to Decorate Your House - for Almost No Cost!
Everyone wants to have a home like those featured in Architectural Digest, but if you're like most, your finances will not allow for it. There are, however, several approaches to decorating and designing that you can take without breaking the bank.

A fresh coat of paint can do wonders for brightening up a room, or even changing it completely. Having a room professionally painted can be pricey, however, depending on the contractor hired and the type of services provided. Rather than hiring someone, painting is a skill that is easily acquired and can even be fun to do. While it may be time consuming, it is not a difficult skill to master. A roller, pan and brush set will cost about $10.00, and a gallon of paint between $20.00 and $30.00. Add in some extra money for spackle to fill any cracks or nail holes, some primer or a base coat, drop cloths and paint remover. If you figure on two gallons of paint, depending on the room's square footage, you could have a white-walled room turn a beautiful hunter green for less than $150.00 all told! In the end, you will be left with a freshly painted, new look and the pride of having done it yourself.

Another way to save money decorating is to shop the yard sales. Sound silly? It's not. Springtime is a great time to do this, as many people are cleaning out their closets and putting things in the yard that they no longer want or they simply don't have room for. You've heard the saying "One man's trash is another man's treasure?" This can be your opportunity for treasure hunting! How many times while shopping have you stepped into an expensive boutique or gallery, just to window shop, and while browsing spotted the ‘perfect' oversized vase for your floor, or a really odd sculpture or ironwork that would be just right for your living room? Yard sales are full of these type items! Because proud homeowners re-decorate every few years, they put perfectly good (and pricey!) merchandise out for sale to the highest bidder. If you do not live in the suburbs, you can still take advantage of these type sales at your local flea market on a Saturday morning or the market on your block.

Want a completely FREE solution? Move some furniture! Not only can you change the look of your home by moving furniture within a room, you can even get creative and change the actual rooms themselves. Why not? If you have a large spare bedroom on the second floor that you have been using for a guest room, why not make this into your growing toddler's bedroom and convert his or her room to the less used, smaller guest room? If you have a family room and a living room that are approximately the same size but in opposite areas of your home, why not simply reverse the floor plan? You would be amazed at the difference this can make in livening up a house that has become stale in the decorating department. If this seems too drastic for you or you don't have the extra rooms, even moving furniture within a room can be a completely cost-free way to renovate.

Who says decorating has to be on the inside of the house only? The first impression you and your guests will have is of the outside of your home. Many people spend hundreds or even thousands of dollars in landscaping, when this cost can be cut significantly by doing your own outdoor gardening, planting and decorating. Rather than having a master plan scoped out by a professional, get creative and think of what colors and types of plants you enjoy looking at and what will grow well in your environment. It is then just a matter of buying the soil, plants, potters, and perhaps some decorative stones to lay around the new plants. This process will not be cost-free, but will be significantly less money to do it yourself than to hire a landscaper. It will also be a great excuse to get outside, enjoy the fresh air, and get some exercise! You can think of the colors you like most, and start with plants in those color schemes. Consider whether you like low-lying plants, or whether you may need to shade certain areas of your property. If so, perhaps you can consider strategic tree planting, so that you have beautiful and mature trees down the road that otherwise would have cost a fortune to have put in. Stones can be relatively inexpensive depending on where you get them and what type they are, yet they can beautify a garden, walkway, path or planted area tremendously. This is something you can add to your landscaping creation as well.

Whether indoors or out, you don't have to break the bank to have a beautiful home. A bit of creativity and a few dollars can go a long way to making the home of your dreams if you take advantage of these few simple suggestions.

7 Ways To Help Stop Your Dog From Digging Up Your Garden

Dogs love to dig, let's face it, it is a very natural and instinctual part of their makeup, and "it is a very enjoyable behavior for them" says Deborah L. Forthman, Ph.D. digging is something that dogs have been doing from the beginning, but there are ways to reduce the amount your dog digs.

Here are 7 different methods to help train your dog not to dig.

1.Before you begin with your dog obedience training on how to stop him from digging, try to figure out exactly what is causing your dog to behave that way. If he is very persistent into digging in one area, you may use the dog training command “leave” while using treats to distract him. You can also distract him by using a particular smell that excites him. These dog behavior modification methods typically work very well.

2. Try not to do any type of gardening and digging when your dog is around because remember that your dog looks up to you and wants to obey you, that being the case when your dog sees you digging and playing in the yard of course he will also think that is what he should be doing.

3. Exercise is a very important aspect of your dog's health, and not only that, the more exercise your dog gets, and the more energy the expends, the less likely that your dog will be able to muster up the energy, or the desire to go digging up your yard. If you find that your dog tends to like to dig at particular times of the day, then make sure you give him plenty of exercise around those times if possible so that he just can't be bothered digging.

4. Make sure that you are more understanding and less scolding with your dogs digging habit, particularly during the winter months. Often during the winter months dogs will dig more than the rest of the year the reasons that these years that your dog has a natural instinct for finding warmer places and dogs sense that by digging, they will get into a warmer area and this is certainly correct. If and when you do notice that your dog is digging more frequently when the temperature is cooler outside, then it is very important to be understanding and not to scold your dog for doing that, but relieve the situation by providing the right environment for him.

5. There are some dogs that absolutely positively can't resist digging, so rather than trying to go against nature and stop them altogether, let's take a different approach and create a special spot for your dog to dig in. Most dog experts agree that for some breeds it is almost impossible to prevent them from digging 100% of the time, and because your dog enjoys digging so much, train him to only dig in his special spot. The area you provide for him to did in doesn't need to be that big, something around three or four foot by six-foot should do the trick nicely.

6. Having your dog neutered or spade is one sure way to reduce their desire to dig because their drive to mate is drastically reduced, and without your dog having a strong desire to mate you almost certainly have a lot less holes in your yard.

7. Be very careful that if you do correct your dog when you catch him digging in the yard that you only do it with warmth and compassion, and that you absolutely must do it at the moment in time that he is digging and that you don't wait for him to stop and then correct him. This will reinforce whatever he is doing with your response, if you wait until he is finished and you scold him then he will get the wrong message.

Instead when you catch him digging try to immediately replace one activity with another, so therefore distract him from his digging and replace it with an enjoyable activity for him to do. If you continually do this it will help modify his behavior and reduce your dogs digging adventures.

Bin Laden’s Garden Of Earthly Frights

What does a resourceful malefactor do when nearly all of the world is searching for him and he has nothing more urgent to do than hide out? Why, what else? He takes up gardening. At least, plants and vegetables can’t reveal his whereabouts. They’re also unlikely to be covert members of the CIA.

And so we join Osama Bin Laden, as he tends the little plot of earth he can call his own, at least, until he is sent off to an unexpectedly sudden meeting with his Allah.

Into the ground he carefully nudges his spade. He examines the divot and does not notice the presence of a surreptitiously planted explosive device. So he reaches into his treasured bag of seeds, bought in a local market by a servant of one of his wives, since neither he nor any of his four subjugated mates can go shopping for fear of being turned in by a checkout clerk in quest of an easy $25 million.

He places a seed caringly in the hole. We won’t say lovingly, because anyone who can order the killing of as many civilians as he did, infidels or not, is unlikely to experience anything akin with that tender emotion. It more likely a perverse affection for his hate for the world – the very sentiment that condemned him to be a spoiled rich kid in the most explosive way.

Now, he drops a sardine into the hole, canned, of course, since he cannot arrange delivery of the fresh finny creatures in his remote location. The oil-soaked remains of the little swimmer from the sea will, he knows, help the plant grow faster – in this case, an olive tree.

He dearly wants the majestic plant to grow as fast as possible, because he would like to witness the fruits of his backyard hobby, and he cannot help but recall that an olive tree usually takes 25 years or so to produce its first tasty oval.

Thinking twice, he adds a second silvery dab of fertilizer, all the faster to make the tardy tree sprout. Even if he evades capture or an unexpectedly zippy flight to eternity, lasting 25 or so more years, given his health, no doubt made even more shaky by the perpetual anxiety he experiences over his life expectancy, is decidedly a long shot.

Now, he covers the sardine-topped seed with handfuls of earth and caringly pats the fertile compost down.

Just then one of his wives comes running from the house.

“Osama, Osama,!” she calls, holding up the hem of her burka so as not to trip and fall into his arms. She knows he’d be upset, because today is not the day he usually makes whoopee with her. He must give his waning physical prowess to one of his other dearly enslaveds.

“What is it?” he asks, feeling his heart thump in his chest like a bowling ball smacking into the headpin.

“There’s a stranger in town!”

Bin Laden stands. “There is?” His throat thickens from tension. “How do you know?”

“How else? The servant I sent shopping for groceries today saw him.”

“Him? It’s a him?”

“That’s what she said.”

“Was he wearing a turban?”

“What does that matter? You know the CIA. If they thought wearing a turban would help them get you, they would all wear them. Even Bush would wear one.”

“You’re right. Did he have a beard?”

“Wouldn’t they all grow beards, too?”

“Hmm, right again. Where did she see him?”

“Standing outside of the supermarket. She said he looked suspicious because he didn’t seem to have any interest in going in. And who hangs around outside of a supermarket unless he’s getting ready to go shopping or waiting for someone to shop with? What should we do?”

“Nothing. The less, the better. Remember what the Prophet said, “He who has lived well has hidden well.”

“I don’t remember reading that in the Koran?”

“It’s not in the Koran. It was said by an infidel named Rene Descartes. But I decided it’s too wise a saying to grant to an unbeliever. So remember, from now on, Mohammed said it.”

“Yes, dear. I like the way you think.”

“Thanks. Now, just go back in the house, and I’ll get back to gardening.”

Then another one of his devoted wives came running out of the house.

“Osama! Osama!" she called. "There’s a stranger at the door.”

He swallowed big time.

“At the door?”

“Yes!”

“What does he want?”

“He asked to speak to the sheik.”

“The sheik? Hey, that’s me! Did he say what he wants?”

“No. What should I tell him?”

“Tell him there is no sheik. You’re a widow.”

“What about me?” asked the first wife to arrive with the day’s most arresting news.

“You, too. You’re all widows.”

“Oh, don’t even say that, Osama!” the first wife wailed. “It makes me think – “

“– What?”

“Never mind,” she replied. “It’s too awful even to imagine.”

Now, there was an unexpected rustling in his garden of earthly frights. His heart jumped way up past his Allah’s Apple. To test if the cause might have been a breeze in the trees, he wet a finger in his mouth and held it up. One side did not grow cooler. He knew the wind had not sounded the alert.

“Who goes there?” he asked, and reached for his AK47, which was propped against a fig tree. He always took the rapid-fire defender with him when he went to garden or anywhere else.

“Hassan,” the voice called back.

“Hassan who?” Bin Laden’s asked.

“Nasrallah.”

“Well, why didn’t you say so?” Bin Laden replied, relaxing. “Come on out.”

His unexpected visitor popped from behind an ample bush, smiling in his usual idiotic way, and removed his disguise, which consisted only of an enormous plastic nose. He didn’t need big black plastic glasses or bushy black eyebrows to go with it, because he already wore such eyeglasses and looked out from under such darkly predictive brows. So he had clipped off those parts of his discount disguise.

“What do you say, baby?” Hassan asked.

“Congratulations!” Bin Laden answered in his forthright way. “That was a great war you waged against Israel!”

“Thanks, old buddy,” Nasrallah replied. "Lost a few of my countryment, but, hey, what's war without death?"

He reached out to hug Bin Laden.

Osama returned the favor, while looking at his wives to show he was a bit uncomfortable with the unaccustomed contact, even from the most recent Muslim fundamentalist to become famous by the usual method of killing civilians, not only a certain number of his perceived enemy, but a far greater number of his own mistaken followers and adulators.

“You’re almost as famous as I am,” Bin Laden conceded.

“Sorry about that,” Nesrallah said. “That’s why I’m here.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m on Israel’s most wanted list.”

“You are?”

“Yeah. Numero uno. And some of the Lebanese people, who realize the cost of my misjudgment, are also hot on my trail. So I figured, Hassan, you want to hide out and live on, there’s only one place to go. Wherever Osama is. This guy is the master evader of capture. Mind if I join you?”

“You mean, your most active days are over?”

“Are yours?”

“I’d rather not think so. I can still send out audiotapes.”

“Guess what?”

“What?”

“I brought a video camera, so now you can upgrade.”

“What do you think of that? For a while now, my right-hand verbal cannonade and death-dealing physician, al-Zawahiri, had our only video cam.”

“Not anymore, good buddy. Hey, by the way, got an extra spade? Since I’ll be here for a while, I might as well dig in.”

“Sure, in the house.”He looked at his wives. “Go get Hassan a spade.”

“Yes, Osama,” the first wife replied, and turned to Nasrallah. “Where are your wives?”

“I was just getting to that. Do you mind if they join me?”

Bin Laden’s willing chattel would never dare an opinion on such a consequential household question and looked to their husband, who couldn’t help shifting his feet before he prevaricated.

“Glad to have them,” he said, “but, you know, the house isn’t that big. If it was, we would attract too much attention.”

“I know,” Hassan agreed. “Don’t worry. We’ll make do. It’s bigger than a bunker.”

“I can’t wait to meet them,” Osama’s first wife volunteered, and turned to the second wife. “Come, let’s go get the spade. I’m sure the men have important things to discuss.”

“All right,” the other wife agreed.

Then the two proudly obedient ladies departed in the direction of the house, slowed a bit by the weight of their unrevealing garments.

Nasrallah turned back to Bin Laden and, extending an index finger, said, “First there was one.”

“Then there were two,” Osama joined in, raising two fingers.“And sometimes al-Zawhiri drops in. So that would make three.”

"Do you think there could be four?” Nasrallah speculated.

“Ahmadinejad when goes on the lam?”

“And Kim Jong-II?” Nasrallah speculated, holding up all the fingers of one hand. “That would makes five. Hey, we’d be halfway to ten!”

Bin Laden wondered, and asked, with a trace of concern, “Is the Korean guy Islamic? As you know, I keep a strictly Islamic household.”

“I don’t know, but at least the name of his country is spelled almost like the Koran. Just take the ‘e’ out of Korea and add an ‘n’ at the end, and there you have it: Koran!”

“Then he can’t be all bad,” Bin Laden said. “Allah and the Prophet would never allow such a close spelling of any nation to the Koran unless the leader was at least a tolerable guy.”

“Right you are.”

One of Bin Laden’s wives returned with a spade for Hassan.

“Thank you,” he said.

“You’re welcome,” she replied, and said to both, “Have fun.”

Then off she went, back to her ancient housewifely duties.

"So tell me about gardening,” Nasrallah asked, holding up his unaccustomed implement. “Where do I start?"

Bin Laden thought for a moment about the intricacies of digging in a garden that might contain an occasional object not the work of nature’s own hand. “How about if you hold the can of sardines while I plant?”

Nasrallah looked at the greasy tin and sniffed the sun-warmed contents. He agreed with a slight show of reluctance and Bin Laden handed it to him.

Hassan couldn’t help counting the slimy residents. He looked up. “Ten.”

“What?”

“Little sardines,” Nasrallah said.

“And soon there will be none,” Bin Laden noted, holding up his trusty bag of seeds.

So a-gardening they went, with a watchful eye and a wary ear, while both found themselves unable to repress a glimmer of the timeless truth that advises us, be careful what kind of garden you plant, because you’re likely to spend a lot of time in it.